And not everyone who sits down stays.
Chair One: The Chair of Convenience
The first chair is the easiest to fill.
They sit with you when:
- Life is smooth
- You’re useful to them
- You’re fun, successful, or available
- There’s something to gain
These people enjoy your company—but only under certain conditions.
They may be:
- Coworkers who disappear when you leave a job
- Friends who drift away when your life changes
- Partners who love the version of you that fits their needs
There’s nothing inherently evil about Chair One.
Most relationships start here.
But the mistake people make is believing this chair represents permanence.
It doesn’t.
When circumstances shift, the chair empties.
Chair Two: The Chair of Shared History
This is where people sit because you’ve been through things together.
Time binds you.
Memories connect you.
Shared experiences create a sense of loyalty.
These are the people who can say:
- “Remember when…”
- “We’ve known each other forever.”
- “We’ve been through too much to walk away.”
Chair Two relationships feel solid—and often are.
But they still have a limit.
Because shared history does not guarantee shared growth.
Some people stay seated only as long as the past is enough to carry the present.
Even this chair can become empty.
Chair Three: The Chair of Choice
The third chair is rare.
This chair is not about convenience.
It’s not about history.
It’s about choice.
The person who sits here stays because they decide to—again and again.
They sit when:
- You are thriving
- You are struggling
- You are changing
- You are inconvenient
- You are not easy to love
This chair isn’t filled by obligation or benefit.
It’s filled by commitment.
What Makes Chair Three Different
People in Chair Three don’t stay because they have to.
They stay because they see you clearly—and stay anyway.
They don’t need you to be impressive.
They don’t need you to be consistent.
They don’t need you to be perfect.
They need you to be real.
And they offer the same in return.
This is the person who:
- Doesn’t disappear when things get hard
- Doesn’t punish you for growing
- Doesn’t leave when you’re no longer convenient
- Doesn’t keep score in moments of weakness
They don’t always agree with you.
They don’t always understand you.
But they don’t leave you.
Why Most People Confuse the Chairs
One of the most painful lessons in life is realizing that someone you placed in Chair Three was actually sitting in Chair One or Two.
We confuse intensity with permanence.
History with loyalty.
Affection with commitment.
We assume:
“If they love me, they’ll stay.”
But love alone doesn’t determine where someone sits.
Choice does.
The Person Who Will Stay by Your Side for Life
Here’s the part that surprises people:
The person most likely to occupy Chair Three for your entire life…
may not arrive early.
They may come after heartbreak.
After disappointment.
After you’ve lost faith in people staying.
They may not be loud.
They may not be dramatic.
They may not feel like fireworks.
But they will feel like steadiness.
And that’s how you’ll know.
What Chair Three Feels Like (Not Looks Like)
Chair Three relationships don’t always look impressive from the outside.
They look like:
- Quiet understanding
- Comfortable silence
- Honest conversations
- Repair after conflict
- Mutual accountability
They feel less like intensity—and more like safety.
Less like adrenaline.
More like home.
You Don’t Get to Force Anyone Into Chair Three
This part is crucial.
You cannot talk someone into this chair.
You cannot love someone into it.
You cannot sacrifice enough to make it happen.
Chair Three is voluntary.
Someone either chooses it—or they don’t.
And no amount of effort on your part can replace their willingness.
The Hardest Truth: Some People Will Never Sit There
Some people are incapable of Chair Three—not because they’re bad, but because they’re not ready, willing, or able to choose that level of commitment.
They may:
- Fear vulnerability
- Avoid responsibility
- Run when things get uncomfortable
- Love conditionally
Losing these people hurts—but keeping them in the wrong chair hurts more.
The Chair You Sit In for Yourself
There’s an uncomfortable question hiding here:
Which chair do you sit in—for yourself?
Do you abandon yourself when things get hard?
Do you stay only when life is convenient?
Do you define your worth by others staying?
The most stable Chair Three relationship often begins internally.
When you choose yourself:
- With compassion
- With boundaries
- With honesty
You stop begging others to stay.
You start noticing who already does.
Why Chair Three Relationships Are So Rare
Because they require:
- Emotional maturity
- Accountability
- Self-awareness
- The ability to stay during discomfort
Most people are taught how to attract.
Few are taught how to remain.
Staying is a skill.
You Might Only Get One
Many people get dozens of Chair One relationships.
A handful of Chair Two connections.
And maybe—if they’re lucky—one Chair Three person.
That person might be:
- A partner
- A friend
- A sibling
- A parent
- Or someone who enters later in life
The form doesn’t matter.
The presence does.
How to Recognize Them Before It’s Too Late
The person who will stay by your side for life:
- Doesn’t leave when you say “no”
- Doesn’t disappear during conflict
- Doesn’t threaten abandonment
- Doesn’t require you to shrink
They don’t make staying feel conditional.
They make it feel chosen.
Letting Go of the Wrong Chairs
Sometimes growth looks like grief.
It looks like realizing someone you loved deeply was never meant for Chair Three.
Letting go doesn’t erase what they meant.
It just puts them in the chair they always occupied.
And that clarity—while painful—is freeing.
Final Thought
Life doesn’t promise many people who will stay forever.
But it often gives you one.
And when you find them, it won’t feel like intensity or chaos or uncertainty.
It will feel like someone pulling up a chair next to you—and never standing up when things get hard.
That’s how you’ll know.
Not because they promised.
But because they stayed.
